Kids are like artists; they are not meant to colour inside the lines, but to create their own masterpiece.
Lines set the limit. In life, limits are necessary for survival. Consider the speed limit, and you get the idea. But hastily imposing limits is undesirable. Many historical human achievements are stories about shattering limits and going beyond any set lines.
When it comes to child-rearing, setting limits is a tricky business. Take a picture colouring activity, for example. When accompanying my son to do picture colouring, I constantly reminded myself to let him freely do the work instead of setting out some stringent ground rules. As an adult, I couldn’t help frowning when seeing his brushstrokes exceed the outlines. It was a dissonance I silently resented. In the early days, I always reminded him to stay inside the lines as it is supposed to be that way, right? But executing what is right hardly goes straightforward. After several attempts at making him do as told failed, I pulled myself aside and reconsidered my problematic approach. I knew it was far from encouraging joyful learning.
I realised that asking him unrelentingly to do what I told him could be overwhelming. It was detrimental to his learning curve as it could be an encumbrance on his joy of learning. So, I decided to let him do the work without me overpowering him with too many instructions. I let him draw outside the lines, and to be clear, I wouldn’t call any resultant art he created a masterpiece. It was preposterous to do the contrary. But to me, the outcome matters less than the whole learning. I also realised that asking him to colour inside the lines was mainly for my bizarre satisfaction. Expecting him to colour neatly inside the lines is reasonable, but limiting his expression by overemphasising it works to his disadvantage as it only discourages joyful learning. The last thing readily transports me back to my kindergarten days when a teacher asked me to colour a rabbit. It was a depressing experience since the imposed ground rules she set made me afraid to mess up the picture by overstepping the lines. Committed to preventing the reoccurrence of the same thing to my son, I strenuously kept myself in check and encouraged joyful learning instead.
Realistically, colouring inside or outside the lines, using or not using the lines, will have their place. I am not a painter, but I know that lines are a prerequisite to perspective drawing. But life, of course, is grander than those lines, and, accordingly, we have artists whose approach challenges traditional notions of perspective and representation. My point is that learning should be liberating. It should enable any child to express himself joyfully, not fearful of crossing the lines. Loading too many instructions may constrict his space for developing creativity and, more importantly, finding joy in learning. Remember that every child is still in the process of learning his world. As he encounters many novelties that are still foreign to him, he should not unnecessarily get reprimanded for committing mistakes, especially when they are as trivial as crossing the lines!
Looking introspectively, I find it unacceptable if anyone demands me to be instantly good at a new skill I just started to try my hands on. It is injustice. The same thing applies to my child. Asking him incessantly to colour inside the lines will hardly cultivate his artistic gift, let alone stimulate him to create his masterpiece. In the end, without too much preoccupation with whether my son will eventually present the world with his masterpiece, what guarantees steady progress is joyful learning.
Alfonsus, from Arahope.
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